clueless

have you ever 'die' without knowing why you are being killed? i think most of you should know how it feels. and i must say, im the latest victim in a 'stab and go' incident. i try to put this as neutral and as simplified as possible.

firstly, my stand was never get myself into nonsensical politics given by the 'all so wonderful' workplace, which everyone thinks highly of no one but themselves. i know i do not have a say or poke my nose into other peoples' life but it became kind of ridiculous. i was being told the time to leave and i abide by it. i did all the necessary things too. then again, it does not seem to have any effect what so ever on people who thinks that you are a prick to them. then again, question, what makes you feel that im a prick? i did not offend them in any way and im pretty sure about it. furthermore, it's only my second time going over there, i strongly believe that i did not do anything wrong on my first time there.

so it comes down to another question, are they pin pointing to the person or the company or just for the sake of fun? ive got no idea myself why such things happen. all i can say is that im not only disappointed, but ive caused disappointment to many others especially those who has taken care of me so much. that i have to apologize on that, for getting them scolded and hearing senseless complains.

ive absorb all the scoldings like a sponge but that plan seems futile. i rather wish that they could come clean with me and tell me what is that they dislike about me. if its something that obvious, im willing to change, i dont mind. however, everyone is keeping mum about it, it is very disturbing to me.

i thought that i have already cleared myself from those nonsensical rumors after my long absence, but it seems that it hasnt really been the case. perhaps trying too hard isnt going to help much either, and im disappointed in the whole situation as well as myself. i think i need a new way of approaching matters so that it will not cause such conflicts anymore in the future.

i guess there is no avail to clear this matter up and rather to let it rest already. ive been ousted out of that place for uncertainty. i guess i have to start from scratch again i guess.

anyway, i have to apologzie and thank oldman and daniel for helping clearing a mess i did not know of. hope it didnt cause too much trouble for them.

live 1 day at a time

this paragraph is taken off from john c. maxwell's book, "Attitude 101"

many a times, we tend to look too far ahead of our time that we thought it may happen or trying our very best to predict what might happen. indirectly, it causes nothing but stress and dreadful-ness.

any person can fight the battle for just one day. it is only when you and i add the burdens of those two awful eternities, yesterday and tomorrow, that we tremble. it is not the experiences of today that drive people to distraction; it is the remorse or bitterness for something that happened yesterday and the dread of what tomorrow may bring. let us therefore live but one day at a time - today!

our attitude determines our approach in life

i was reading a book in office today. its called 'attitude 101' by john maxwell. although i dont know this author at all, i manage to read up a small chapter of his book on 'how does attitude impact an individual'.

attitude axion #1/our attitude determines our approach to life

our attitude tells us what we expect from life. like an aeroplane, if our 'nose' is pointed up, we are taking off; if it is pointed down, we may be headed for a crash

one of my favourite stories about a grandfather and grandmother who visited their grandchildren. each afternoon grandfather would lie down for a nap. one day, as a practical joke, the kids decided to put Limburger cheese in his mustache. quite soon he awoke sniffing. 'why, this room stinks,' he exclaimed as he got up and went out into the kitchen. he wasnt there long until he decided that the kitchen smelled too, so he walked outdoors for a breath of fresh air. much to grandpa's surprise, the open air brought no relief, and he proclaimed,'the whole world stinks!'

how true that is to life! when we carry 'limburger cheese' in our attitudes, the whole world smells bad. we are individually responsible for our view of life. that truth has been known for ages and is conttrained in scripture:'for whatever a man sows, that he will also reap.' our attitude toward and action in life help determine what happens to us.

it would be impossible to estimate the number of jobs lost, the number of promotions missed, the number of sales not made, and the number of marriages ruined by poor attitudes.

but almost daily we witness jobs that are held but hated and marriages that are tolerated but unhappy, all because people are waiting for others, or the world, to change instead of realizing that they are responsible for their own behavior.

i would say this is neatly said. however, doing it is another story, i believe it can be done. keeping the positive mind and right attitude as stated in it.

that wasn't necessary

i really do not understand how come people can be such a nuisance when it comes to certain matters. im meaning the smallest matters that one can really be annoyed at. im rather surprise to see the reaction given by a person in regarding the whole matter.

i strongly believe that everything was done in jest. i dont understand why she has to be so hard up about, seriously i dont. and i dont think that it is necessary for such comments made to yourself in your own closed up world. however, i must emphasize that im not trying to imply anything over here.

what is wrong with looking? i dont see a problem as much as you do. perhaps you are not who you use to be? narrowminded-ness and pettiness perhaps have clouded your 'all-so-mature' thoughts that you have already become no different from a spoilt kid in some comedy sitcom.

believe me, i still respect for who you are and those decisions that you have had made. then again, perhaps you need some research not on your final-year project, but research on things and factors on why you have such a laughable life. if you could take everything in jest, then life wouldn't be that miserable as it is now.

i dont expect an apology and we dont need one. because we are happy with the lives we have. we dont actually need you to tell us what to do, we have a clearer directions as to where we are heading, how we going to do, and when we going to get it done.

so go ahead with your so-called 'happy' life. because if i were to guage what you are going through. your happy is not even 1% of what im having. trust me. your life more miserable than what you think. unbelievable? try sitting down and slowly think through. im very sure that im spot on.=)

after 3 months

i dont feel like blogging already.
im having mind block

winner???

one knew there's no such thing as a winner here.
it doesnt matter who or when, it's the choices one make.
nothing is final.
one chose to let it go.
there will never be an eternal winner, some will give up, some will stay...
and thats it

humans???

just a little quote i got off from the latest episode of heroes.

a broken vessel, an empty shell.
what is a man without main, without memory.
a ghost? a body in search of a soul?
with no compass to guide us, how can we know if our destiny is to seek the good...
or obey the demons that whisper in our ear?
the blank slate hungers to be written upon. the body thrives when the heart has a mission.

BiTC

it has been 8 days since i left SG for Beijing for my FYP. i must say apart from the cold weather and salty food, the others are still fun. shopping is still the best part of each day or sports.

i have a very big confession to make. within the first week, ive actually spent near a thousand bucks just on shopping and food. i really do think im gonna have cup noodles for the rest of the 23 days here in Beijing.

furthermore, i manage to know a great bunch of people, some of us crossed path again. but it wasnt as weird and awkward as i thought it will be. i guess without these people over here in Beijing, life would be so much difficult to endure.

pictures wise, ive taken quite alot, some nice and vice versa. however, im just too lazy to even on photoshop and do some pp to it. more important things like project is also very difficult for me to start my engine too. can somebody please save me?!?!?!?

oh well, as of now, im playing fm while doing my own project. hopefully, i can manage to produce something which can satisfy my supervisor. although a pain in the butt, but he meant well. what to do...

bruce has been poisoning me with A700



and lihao has been poisoning me with A850




but both of them dont want to help me pay.
hahas..:D

ALPHA!!!

i must say, im indeed very happy to sell alpha and to have acheive greater heights. heights that not every other colleagues have done before. and i seriously feel that no one after us will have what it takes to acheived what we have done.even as of now, i dont believe any other sales colleague is able to beat this team. im really proud of you people.

the combination of different types of sales individual with different types of background and everything came together to make the Alpha target come true. it was a hard fight for all of us.

what is Nikon?? what is Canon?? what is Olympus?? those are bulls***!! try putting those sales people at Alpha and prepare for bad sales, trust me. however, put this winning team into those brand and prepare for even better results.

i thank all those who put in the effort to hit the target. xiaobai, kaifeng, keith, kliff, bruce. you people this title of Alpha Fighters.

and as for me, i am thinking about getting a Alpha A700 myself.=))
hopefully pay is more than enough for me to get it.

post 170

it has been such a long time that im able to wake up at 1230hrs on a weekend. usually, i wont even blog about my weekends, its all about work n slogging.

i must say that im astonished by the number of people who reads my blog. i think i should be removing my tagboard. i mean since readers dont tag then it is rather meaningless to put that either.

well, im just preparing myself for the upcoming show.
any buyers for sony alpha?? pls come look for me..
thanks..

well..i had a very good meal at fish n co..thanks to her..the company was superb i must say.

talks were great, with addition of good food, it really made my night. only thing that was kind of disturbing was the fact that the waiter was actually a poser according to her. not forgetting the midget waiter whom i couldnt tell what is the gender.

then played a little pool, she is good and i mean it.=)) she won the game fair and square. and i cant help but laugh everytime she missed the shot. "DONT MOCK AT ME AR!!" =D

all in all, everything is great.

who???

for every being cursed with self-awareness, there remains the unanswerable question. who am i?

we struggle to find meaningful connections to one another. we are the caring friend, the loving father, the doting mother, the protected child. we fight and we love in the hope that somehow, together, we can understand our significance in the universe.

however, in the end, no one can share our burden. each of us alone must answer the question...who am i? what does it mean to be alive? and in the vast infinity of time, how do i matter?

there are nearly 7 billion people on this planet. each one unique, different. what are the chances of that? and why? is it simply biology, physiology that determines this diversity? a collection of thoughts, memories, experience that carve out our own special place?

or is it something more than this?

perhaps there is a master plan that drives the randomness of creation. something unknowable that dwells in the soul and presents each one of us with a unique set of challenges that will help us discover who we really are.

we are all connected. joined together by invisible thread. infinite in its potential, and fragile in its design. yet while connected, we are also merely individuals. empty vessels to be filled with infinite possibilities. an assortment of thoughts, beliefs. a collection of disjointed memories and experiences.

can i be me without this? can you be you?

and if this invisible thread that holds us together were to sever, to cease...what then? what will become of billions of lone, disconnected souls? there in lies the great quest of our lives, to find, to connect, to hold on. for when our hearts are pure, and our thoughts in line, we are all truly one. capable of repairing our fragile world and creating a universe of infinite possibilities.

what type of hero/villian are you???

its after the projecting period.
and here is something ive thought all this while which explains my absence from blogging.

on the sixth day, god created man in his own image. and now it is up to us to figure it all out. right..wrong..good..evil..in each of us is a capacity to decide what drives our actions. so what is it, then, that make some choose selflessness, the need to devote themselves to something greater, while others know only self-interest? isolating themselves in a world of their own-making?

some seek love, even if unrequited, while others are driven by fear and betrayal. there are those who see their choices as dark proof of god's absence, while others follow a path of noble destiny.

but in the end, good, evil, right, or wrong...what we choose is never what we really need. for that is the ultimate cosmic joke, the real gift that god has left behind.

there is good, and there is evil...right and wrong...heroes and villians. and if we are blessed with wisdom, then there are glimpses between the cracks of each where light streams through... we wait in silence for these times when sense can be made... when meaningless existence comes into focus, and our purpose presents itself. and if we have the strength to be honest, then what we find there staring back at us is our own reflection... bearing witness to the duality of life...

that each one of us is capable of both the dark and the light, of good and evil, of either...of all. and destiny, while marching ever in our direction, can be rerouted by the choices we make, by the love we hold onto and promises we keep.

Get to know yourself better..

Your view on yourself:
You are intelligent, honest and sweet. You are friendly to everybody and don't like conflict. Because you're so cheerful and fun people are naturally attracted to you and like to talk to you.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You prefer to get to know a person very well before deciding whether you will commit to the relationship.

The seriousness of your love:
You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.

Your views on education
Education is less important than the real world out there, away from the classroom. Deep inside you want to start working, earning money and living on your own.

The right job for you:
You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:
You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying.

What are you most afraid of:
You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear.

Who is your true self:
You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

i must say, today at work was rather delighting. although tons of rules which i have to abide by but everything is starting to open up. although im still facing quite a little difficulty, never would i thought hai chew will require so much energy from me as compared to alan photo.

today was full of surprises, good and not so good? it was nice to see you again under such a coincidental circumstance, i see you are very happy and much more livelier?(is there such word?)
to put it in a way, i feel that things could have been improved one way or another, let us just see shall we? ive really got nothing to blog about other than this. like i say previously, when i thought that there isnt anymore surprise, it never fails to make me see things that clearly before. furthermore, it gets better everytime, from fluctuating attitudes to just merely eye contacts. so close yet so far? i suppose so?

i would like to end this boring post with a quote...

in this world, everything can change just like that. like that

nice~~

just when i thought i have nothing to blog about already. life has given me a rather good surprise for me to blog about. nice~~

but i have to apologize for the censorship in this post. if you know what im talking about, jolly well keep mum about it. its not nice to go around spreading things which you have no actual knowledge about.

anyway, today i had my common test, everything didnt came out as what i have expected. however, i manage to complete everything nicely, so no grumbles about it. thanks to ikram for meeting me early in the morning to get things sorted out. i still feel that the breakfast did the trick.

usual activities with him. i must say, i handled the situation rather well. to be able to unmoved by the mere comment from another passer-by. before, i move on any further, i think i will be getting some hate tags on my blog, no?=D
back to the post, the comment went,"i just saw what im not suppose to...". all i can say that it is a familiar face. however, to think that the person came out with this kind of statement is rather amusing. i was having mixed feelings though, however, i think that i should take things more dope. rather than being down and emo?

then again, my thoughts were if it was on purpose which i think it is, but i dont feel like brooding over it much as it is not very pleasant thing to do. amused in a sense that one can generate so much different feeling in such a period of time. too bad i dont study human psychology, or else i would have a valid explanation as to why things are this way. why i say i handled the situation well, i was physically and mentally unmoved, which means to say that ive gone through another stage and 'up my level'.

but here is a short little quote for you ya? mada mada dane...=))
in case you dont really know, it means "nope, not good enough.."
well, if you have that much energy to generate this amount of energy to do all these stuffs, why not think differently?
i still know you as a 'think differently' person, special for short?
you have a choice,why noy make things good? dont say you dont have. because if you say it that way, you are actually forcing yourself to be this way, which i personally feel that you are not helping yourself much?

sleep on it.=))


nice~~~

seriously, you really have some issues...

this post is actually overdue. it was suppose to be written last night, but i dont know why suddenly blogspot had a little hiccup and i cant access to write a new post last night.

this post is to whom it may concern. if you feel that im talking about you. call me and lets talk.

i am very sure that ive hardly gave you any problems since we first met back in dec 06. up till today, im pretty sure that ive stayed out of alot of troubles. yet, you still have some issues with me? come on, how childish can you be? you already have a spouse and yet you are acting like as if im your big brother. if you have real issues with me, just come directly to me. you dont have speak behind my back and im serious about it.

frankly, ive always respected you in the first place, i dont know when you started to have issues with me. is it because of respect? have i not given you enough? if thats what you want from it, earn it. im giving no respect to no one until that bugger has duly earn it. likewise, i want to earn respect too, ive done my fair share of things and i think you should too.

what is power? position? i heard that last night that you said all these words about me, i am very pissed off by you. then again, why should i even bother to go and argue with you such things. old man has say to me not once, but multiple times, as long you got nothing against your guilty conscience, you dont have to worry. it has been stuck in my head and i dont understand why it didnt stuck in yours despite you spending most of life with him comparing to mine, talk about blood is thicker than water. you can say whatever you want about me, which you have already done quite abit. it is just that im told to stay cool or else i wont have lasted that long. i think im quite a krptonite to you ya? i think that is the only conclusion i can derive from your intentions of trying to get rid of me...

before i finish this post, i would like to say that im aiming for no ones position. what im doing is purely and merely helping out. if you cant see this clearly enough, i think you seriously need a new pair of specs

and dont be like a kid again, pls? it actually disgusts me alot. mada mada dane

to that kid

if you can go till the extent of removing one from facebook, there is only a few conclusions i can make. either you are so darn free to search for my name in it or you are just that childish.

no one has to bother how i manage to find out. all i can say is that, neither am i blind nor deaf. so dont treat me like one. however, if i have to treat you like a little kid then i would rather not waste my time. go do what your mummy tell you, and dont be acting like 'punk', thinking you are a 'soldier'.=)) (if you understand that is)

i mean no harm. because if there is any friendship to talk about then ive really surprise at how you use to act out those maturity back then. and how you become this selfish just like what your hate tag say the previous time.

so you better take a step to prepare yourself, cause the way you living now, aint good for your health.

Dont bother translating it...

hai dee, rao lerk peua bpaet deuan laew. a-deet kwaam roo-seuk yang kong. wan nee, chan yang mai roo tam-mai ter song hai bpai. duay kong dtaang boo-root?

chan mee naa bok jao hua ok ja gliang soon. ter rak krai laew. chan ya kao jai tam-mai chan pae hai kao. dtae, chan ja mai koie saap het pon kwaa? wen dtae ter kor kwaam chan dton nee, dai chai mai mee taang. yaang rai gor taam, chan yang uay pon ter hai dee. dtae, chan yang kit waa ter goo. ter bok ter rak chan dta-lot bpai, dtae mong dtrong puak rao dton nee!! rao woot-wit roo dtor gan. hai kon dieow gaan kui.

dtae, kop koon ter, chan dtang krai tam jao chee-wit mee kwaam maai eek. chan roo-seuk tee ter chai dee gwaa koon maak maai. tang-tang tee chan kit fan-feuang puak rao daai bpen gan. dtae, chan yin-dee kao gap ter. ter naam dton gap L. kit taa koon daai. hahas..

laa gon, dtae chan wang waa mee tee sam-rap eek.


please dont translate it, it's meant for personal reading. thanks.