clueless

have you ever 'die' without knowing why you are being killed? i think most of you should know how it feels. and i must say, im the latest victim in a 'stab and go' incident. i try to put this as neutral and as simplified as possible.

firstly, my stand was never get myself into nonsensical politics given by the 'all so wonderful' workplace, which everyone thinks highly of no one but themselves. i know i do not have a say or poke my nose into other peoples' life but it became kind of ridiculous. i was being told the time to leave and i abide by it. i did all the necessary things too. then again, it does not seem to have any effect what so ever on people who thinks that you are a prick to them. then again, question, what makes you feel that im a prick? i did not offend them in any way and im pretty sure about it. furthermore, it's only my second time going over there, i strongly believe that i did not do anything wrong on my first time there.

so it comes down to another question, are they pin pointing to the person or the company or just for the sake of fun? ive got no idea myself why such things happen. all i can say is that im not only disappointed, but ive caused disappointment to many others especially those who has taken care of me so much. that i have to apologize on that, for getting them scolded and hearing senseless complains.

ive absorb all the scoldings like a sponge but that plan seems futile. i rather wish that they could come clean with me and tell me what is that they dislike about me. if its something that obvious, im willing to change, i dont mind. however, everyone is keeping mum about it, it is very disturbing to me.

i thought that i have already cleared myself from those nonsensical rumors after my long absence, but it seems that it hasnt really been the case. perhaps trying too hard isnt going to help much either, and im disappointed in the whole situation as well as myself. i think i need a new way of approaching matters so that it will not cause such conflicts anymore in the future.

i guess there is no avail to clear this matter up and rather to let it rest already. ive been ousted out of that place for uncertainty. i guess i have to start from scratch again i guess.

anyway, i have to apologzie and thank oldman and daniel for helping clearing a mess i did not know of. hope it didnt cause too much trouble for them.

live 1 day at a time

this paragraph is taken off from john c. maxwell's book, "Attitude 101"

many a times, we tend to look too far ahead of our time that we thought it may happen or trying our very best to predict what might happen. indirectly, it causes nothing but stress and dreadful-ness.

any person can fight the battle for just one day. it is only when you and i add the burdens of those two awful eternities, yesterday and tomorrow, that we tremble. it is not the experiences of today that drive people to distraction; it is the remorse or bitterness for something that happened yesterday and the dread of what tomorrow may bring. let us therefore live but one day at a time - today!

our attitude determines our approach in life

i was reading a book in office today. its called 'attitude 101' by john maxwell. although i dont know this author at all, i manage to read up a small chapter of his book on 'how does attitude impact an individual'.

attitude axion #1/our attitude determines our approach to life

our attitude tells us what we expect from life. like an aeroplane, if our 'nose' is pointed up, we are taking off; if it is pointed down, we may be headed for a crash

one of my favourite stories about a grandfather and grandmother who visited their grandchildren. each afternoon grandfather would lie down for a nap. one day, as a practical joke, the kids decided to put Limburger cheese in his mustache. quite soon he awoke sniffing. 'why, this room stinks,' he exclaimed as he got up and went out into the kitchen. he wasnt there long until he decided that the kitchen smelled too, so he walked outdoors for a breath of fresh air. much to grandpa's surprise, the open air brought no relief, and he proclaimed,'the whole world stinks!'

how true that is to life! when we carry 'limburger cheese' in our attitudes, the whole world smells bad. we are individually responsible for our view of life. that truth has been known for ages and is conttrained in scripture:'for whatever a man sows, that he will also reap.' our attitude toward and action in life help determine what happens to us.

it would be impossible to estimate the number of jobs lost, the number of promotions missed, the number of sales not made, and the number of marriages ruined by poor attitudes.

but almost daily we witness jobs that are held but hated and marriages that are tolerated but unhappy, all because people are waiting for others, or the world, to change instead of realizing that they are responsible for their own behavior.

i would say this is neatly said. however, doing it is another story, i believe it can be done. keeping the positive mind and right attitude as stated in it.

that wasn't necessary

i really do not understand how come people can be such a nuisance when it comes to certain matters. im meaning the smallest matters that one can really be annoyed at. im rather surprise to see the reaction given by a person in regarding the whole matter.

i strongly believe that everything was done in jest. i dont understand why she has to be so hard up about, seriously i dont. and i dont think that it is necessary for such comments made to yourself in your own closed up world. however, i must emphasize that im not trying to imply anything over here.

what is wrong with looking? i dont see a problem as much as you do. perhaps you are not who you use to be? narrowminded-ness and pettiness perhaps have clouded your 'all-so-mature' thoughts that you have already become no different from a spoilt kid in some comedy sitcom.

believe me, i still respect for who you are and those decisions that you have had made. then again, perhaps you need some research not on your final-year project, but research on things and factors on why you have such a laughable life. if you could take everything in jest, then life wouldn't be that miserable as it is now.

i dont expect an apology and we dont need one. because we are happy with the lives we have. we dont actually need you to tell us what to do, we have a clearer directions as to where we are heading, how we going to do, and when we going to get it done.

so go ahead with your so-called 'happy' life. because if i were to guage what you are going through. your happy is not even 1% of what im having. trust me. your life more miserable than what you think. unbelievable? try sitting down and slowly think through. im very sure that im spot on.=)

after 3 months

i dont feel like blogging already.
im having mind block

winner???

one knew there's no such thing as a winner here.
it doesnt matter who or when, it's the choices one make.
nothing is final.
one chose to let it go.
there will never be an eternal winner, some will give up, some will stay...
and thats it

humans???

just a little quote i got off from the latest episode of heroes.

a broken vessel, an empty shell.
what is a man without main, without memory.
a ghost? a body in search of a soul?
with no compass to guide us, how can we know if our destiny is to seek the good...
or obey the demons that whisper in our ear?
the blank slate hungers to be written upon. the body thrives when the heart has a mission.