devastation

i just realised how tired i am. am looking very forward to resting and actually. maybe the prospect and idea of a quiet place is really tempting me. i was rather too quick to expect, but i still believe my points are valid.

thanks for the wishes people.

take a break

take a break,
have a kit-kat.=)

learning the importance of looking before leaping.
and learning having to deal with the consequences.

im still figuring and learning as i had to come to terms with my realisation and shortcomings as well.

reasurrance

im very relieved that i got that big burden off, and things have improved instead of a highly possible decline.
thankful for my cousin's 'advice'.hmmmm
we'll help each other along the way as we share and aid.=)
and yes, you and your scary instincts and wavering ways.

PS we will work it out as we go along aint it zhenguang?

dan
on another note, it may seem that the least communication isnt that good, but afterall i still regard you as a brother.
i overlook small things, but concentrate on the big picture. its a journey of exploration and understanding, as we go along.
and the feeling is still taking its time to sink in.

cant believe it, its been a week since i last blogged.
7 days just zoomed past.

the only thing that is consistent throughout is the severe lack of sleep. i think im averaging 6 hours at best and the toil it's taking on me is starting to show. was falling totally asleep standing on my way back from school.

though in the past week, i have been exposed to a new but intriguing aspect of life, which i have jumped head first into. on hind sight, it could have been wiser to take a breather and consider my financial situation. but thats too late already.

i really want to trust the altruism of people, but it is very challenging to believe the in the absence of vested interest. then again, i cant decipher any possible avenue for exploitation. will attempt to figure out more. i really hope i am just being narrow-minded and unable to see/believe things.

study, work, study, work.
having a hectic week up ahead, and have to purposefully block out my off day time to sort out the personal stuffs that has inadvertently piled up since my holidays. time to procrastinate on procrastination.

reassurance

well, i was supposed to blog about a heck lot of things but maybe just now yet.
but a short brief of things:
income crunch issue has been alleviated (paycheck is coming),
i changed my hairstyle,
and have a much clearer mental picture of directions for the next few months.

talks

had a pleasant and comforting talk with the nowadays 'rarely' seen MJ and to update each other. busy busy busy, with our own different things, we all are.

unappreciative?..

there is gradual but growing feeling which i cant pin-point. is it an avid sense of dissatisfaction or is it more like the feeling of being unappreicated?

pondering over, i guess i found the answer to it. but then again, if i will probably get slammed for getting my expectations wrong again. though in some sense, its all about giving without expecting to return, however, im very much human. that makes it increasingly difficult to do as such.

being busy is relative. i admit i use it as a shield sparsely as well, but when its abused by others once too many times, it does get exceedingly sickening and makes one question things. makes me wonder was all that from previous time a bunch of superficial lies. or maybe just different priority eh.

loud voice and lame excuses are a daily source of alarm that breaks the tranquility of the night. it makes me wonder is obstinateness the most capable thing he is capable of, and maybe in 30 odd years time, i be similar. though i very much hope not.

i definately need to rest more. =/

hmmm, today;s shift at alan was rather interesting.

what should i talk about?
the loud ping-ing of the people over there, the asking of contact numbers, the all so standard excess shows or the little lessons of subtlety?

i think sleep's the best for now.

categorising

speaking of friends, i guessed relations have changed plenty lots. my views have evolved.

some just sour, for people move on and i respect that. one day, paths may intertwine again.

there are those that are in an occasional need of a poke / nudge to get things right. this to me, is kinda irritating. nevertheless, i chosen not to give up, but it really can get tiring. but the good thing is that when things get right, its really quite enjoyable and comfortable, if they get right.

yet the best of the lot, are those who dont need the special effort to maintain the friendship.

i feel that i know too many people that falls into the 1st and 2nd general category, for one cant really complain about having too many friends falling in last but the best?=)

thinker - man = me

Your Thinking is Concrete and Sequential

You are precise, orderly, and realistic. You tend to get to the point and get things done. Difficult, detailed work is easy for you. You take things step by step. Time limits aren't a problem for you either. You work well with deadlines. What does drive you crazy is any sort of task that isn't precisely laid out. You don't like anything to be ambiguous. You prefer to deal with the facts at hand.

What Kind of Thinker Are You?

thinking

i think im moving but im not going nowhere..=)