frequency

here i am, taking a short little break from tutorial mugging(surprised). it is a seemingly never-ending race to keep up with tutorials. im simply wondering how do some people keep up work with lecture pace. either they have to mug like mad, is PRO-ly smart(i know a few) or has just 48hrs a day.

anyway, that is not the idea for today. i shall be talking about digital content and distribution systems aka DCSDS. in particular, frequencies.
as everyone would know, in order to receive effective communication, the receiver must be the same frequency as that of the transmitter.
for radio and all sorts of mechanical devices, their frequency is readily set to operational levels and are usually not easily subjected to changes, be it sudden or gradual.
however, for humans, in particular one's friends, their frequencies tend to oscillate wildly and immensely. previously, a common frequency was easily determined and obtained for my friend and i, communication flourished easily spite of inherent and apparent similarities, a common frequency has never since been re-achieved. despite scanning the whole limits of possible frequency, the matching receiver frequency has not been found. maybe i have moved into a range of possible frequencies vastly different and that it has been the case for my friend as well, but it simply matters much.
while some have gone on and found their own optimal frequency ranges, contact is still possible due the presence of overlapping frequency channel. acting on both transmitter and receiver.

so it is my wish that i can re-find that optimal frequency range that is common.

thanks

well, to those who have wished me, i thank you very much.
for those who didnt, its ok, i dont blame you. maybe you are just too shy.=))

thanks for those who have went the extra mile. notable ones are zg, jr and mj. zg and jr for the beating which im still suffering from the bruises. and mj for her dedication over the radio. my first time being wished happy birthday over the national radio.

for those whom i didnt mention, you still have my appreciation for wishing me one way or another. i thank you all again.

however, now im prepared to bid goodbye to my day. tomorrow shall be another new day, another new 24hrs to get things done.

happy birthday, i say to myself

yes, sheng dont post much chinese stuff on his blog. but since now its officially my birthday. so lets try something different. this is a nice song though...for those who doesnt understand the chinese words. let me translate using my own vocab..dont laugh if im wrong..hahas..every line corresponse..

我知道伤心不能改变什么
那么让我诚实一点
诚实难免有不能控制的宣泄
只有关上了门不必理谁
一个人坐在空的包厢里面
手机让它休息一夜
那上千个切掉回忆的画面
眼泪不能流过十二点
生日快乐
我对自己说
蜡烛点了
寂寞亮了
生日快乐
泪也融了
我要谢谢你给的你拿走的一切
还爱你的一点恨
还要时间
才能平衡
热恋伤痕
画面重生
祝我生日快乐


i know sadness cant change anything,
then, let me be honest.
honesty, it is difficult not to vent out.
only to close the doors and not get bothered by anyone.
alone, sitting in a empty box
let the handphone rest for a night
those thousands memories only to stop
not allowing to let tears flow after 12
happy birthday,
i say to myself.
candles lit
loneliness brightens up
happy birthday
tears melt.
i would like to thank you for everything that you have given and taken
still loving your tinge of hate
still need a little time
to balance it up
memories repeated
wish myself happy birthday


click here for the song

punk'd

this post is very stupid. i feel so stupid right now.
it happened between me and my dad.

(over lunch)

dad: "so you are looking at which car now?"

me: *stun* huh?

dad: "what car you want to get?"

me: *grinning* oh..Im looking at the suzuki grand vitara leh

dad: oh..how much isit?

me: well, looking at around 60k? for a secondhand one

dad: WHAT?!?! get second hand??? buy car must always buy new one...

----------------------------------------------------
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, AT THIS POINT MANY OF YOU WOULD HAVE THOUGH THAT HE WOULD ACTUALLY BE SUCH A NICE PERSON AND TELL ME THAT IM GOING TO GET IT. A NEW ONE TOO.
WELL, CONTINUE READING.
----------------------------------------------------


me: *getting excited* you say as if you are going to get it

dad: you wish, you want to get a ride, you are on your own.


YES PEOPLE. THAT IS WHAT HE SAID. SUDDENLY MY WHOLE WORLD COLLAPSE. I THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO GET SOMETHING FOR SURE YET...DAMN..THIS IS RIDICULOUS. AND THE BEST PART IS THAT HE IS YOUR DAD!! WELL, THIS HAS TAUGHT ME NOT TO THINK OTHERWISE WHEN TALKING TO YOUR OWN DAD.

unhappy

yes, the title of the post says it all, sheng is on a rampage mood. so better dont cross the line or else you're in for a treat. there is actually nothing much to talk about this feeling right now. to put it in laymen terms, is angry, that is all i can describe.

one thing which adds up to this is because im feeling very much cranky due to the lack of sleep since school has started. i really need tons of sleep to get my engine running which im unable to source it out.

on top of that, new modules are rather difficult to understand so far. although everything is all a click away but it just that damn hard to understand what is being taught. timings of all classes hasnt been really kind to me, or so to speak. to summarise, im still unable to adapt to this new environment so far. sometimes i wonder how come this is the case, it has never been a problem for me to adapt fast. not to brag about it but it is the truth, adapting has never been a problem till now.

another is rather nine to five issue i should say. this part is rather censored, so if readers dont understand then jolly well just exit from my blog.

being inflexible is rather pissing me off, and i mean it. distance has never been a problem for me, however, it is the environment which is causing all this shit. apparently, im unable to do it properly due to the fact that there is no cache for me. no cache for me means no income, then what is the whole idea then? indirectly, it has cause distance to be another demoralizing factor for me already. and no base from anyone has make things even worse for me, unable to do truly what i want and being restricted has caused it to be very mundane. im rather disappointed in it. the whole idea of inflexibility comes in because of the failure in wanting to achieve more and also being complacent. one should not be complacent in anything, if things are going to work out for now, it does not necessarily means it will be forever. i dont wish to see myself being undermine over there throughout. i believe there are better people who are much more capable of doing things over there rather than me.

however, this is all just rantings, who would ever take note of such minor stuffs? if ever a day it does, it means that someone of higher power has answered my call and decided to help me out. other than that, these here are just plain words which will only fall into death ears. then again, i do hope that there is a solution as to what im facing generally. although that is what one is seriously hoping for, but mostly it always turns out the opposite way. isnt it???

responsibilities;

responsibilities means answerable or accountable, as for something within one's power, control or management.

so now my question to you. what are your responsibilities? to put it in a nicer way, it is call help. one shall not speak of the ugly way. it will only turn more sour. ordering one around doesnt sounds any fun at all. one is obliged to adhere to instructions or not. remember, doing this out of good will and taking something back in return via the same thing is a totally different story. get your responsibilities right, because for the time being, one doesnt think you deserve much respect from oneself. although asking nicely is just another act, however, the motive behind is just to lighten workload. give one what oneself deserve and maybe one will consider.

on another note, if you think one is wrong, come talk to one straight up. one believe there is always room for talking. it is depending how civilized and mature a person is to settle certain matters.

cough;

im so at lost as to what to put on my blog.
ive just recently changed my skin back to the traditional ones.
was rather amazed that blogger do provide certain services.
anyway, got myself a new haircut, all i can say it is very short.
well, dinner time

beautifully imperfect

it really those minor details which make everyone beautifully imperfect. it is just that not everyone has the ability to see. am i not right?

was thinking about what one of my friend always say when someone approaches him for help.

need help i call you brother, dont need help i call you FUCKER.

to a certain extent it is rather true. on the contrary, we just dont want to see that, we just want to feel that sense of achievement to help. only at the end then we realized that it has all been a hoax since the start. im just rather surprised and disappointed at times at how things goes. for a moment you thought were doing the right thing, then vice versa the next minute.

one cannot blame others for anything that one has received. the truth is that all those being received is what one has sowed in the past. and what you reap is what you sow. so an apple will always be an apple, no matter how much you try to change to a orange or a lemon.

anyway, one has to begin to start reaping for the future now, so that one can receive not only just apple. but also oranges and lemons in the future. perhaps one day, one can open up a fruit juice store somewhere.

back from my short retreat.
feeling kind of refreshed but not totally.
however, it was fun and also a good experience.
took many pictures.
one thing i've learnt from this lil retreat of mine.

never stop trying. because it is just not the end. it matters how we are going to finish. am i going to finish strong? and i will find the strength to get back up..

here are a few:

eyes

look me in the eyes,
it's ok if you're scared.
so am i,
but we're scared for different reasons.
im scared of what i wont become,
and you're scared of what i could become.

look at me,
i wont let myself end where i started.
i wont let myself finish where i begin.
i know what's within me,
even if you cant see it yet.

look me in the eyes,
i have something more important than courage.
i have patience.
i will become what i know,
i am.

shall break this post into 2 parts.
firstly,




forget about the picure, i know, it sucks. im ugly. =D
but then this is what i've been waiting for since march.

secondly,
trust was always an excuse as to what is happening around us. if one could just hang in there with slightly more determination, perhaps things wont have the outcome as of today. no one is to blame for anything, neither im supposed to blame anyone. question comes down, WHO AM I or rather WHO ARE WE TO JUDGE EACH OTHER? not trying to emo over here, but this is indeed a learning platform which one will never be keen to visit anytime sooner. however, if mentally and soulfully one isnt here, i would say speaking up will be a much more wiser choice. rather than just dragging oneself inside a empty shell. we all are mature, so be someone mature and dont use other form of words as a sword to push it into other's heart. it aint nice you see. especially trust.