figure of speech

i was running this road, winding and curving.
initially, there was no notion of stop running,
dark sky, leg pain, laziness, etc.
as i ran, it got tough, tiredness was trying to stop me,
but the more i ran, it felt great to see things around
sometimes i overtake people
sometimes people over take me.
sometimes, i see people walking
people on the side playing soccer
engaging in their own activities
i see myself jogging along a little path, knowing it will end some way
yet it doesnt stop me from jogging
sometimes i jog
sometimes i could be faster
sometimes i see a pretty girl to make me wanna run faster
but the more i ran, the more tired i know i was becoming, and that i was heading home.
and yet i know, the next day, i would be running again
with the inertia to start running, looking ahead at the journey before it starts.
but at least i knew i was running and not hiding from oblivion facades.

so many machines within, but the paradoxes limits.
have the capability to hold them back and then talk about to reclaim back more of what was lost.
to utilise them for my own will. having mastery over them would be the aim.

entangled

feeling pretty shitty now.
it is as AT had said, about dust being shaken and creating a sandstorm?
or is it just mere delusions?

anyway, hermit week up ahead.

maybe i have over believed in what i have been fed, believed in what i thought i saw, actually, behind the veil, is so much more. as if it was always a conspiracy out to sucker me in. am i starting to see the flaws in the plan now?

security, sensation, power
what is it so entangling?

......

no regrets of the past.
acceptance of others of their ideals.
and passing no judgment.

is there more to it than just mere security, sensation and power?

blog number 60

my primary love language is probably:

PHYSICAL TOUCH

with the secondary love language which is:

words of affirmation

quality time : 6
acts of service : 6
receiving gifts : 3

ive always wanted to read that book. however, with this quiz, it makes it all the clearer. looking back about the past, many things are suddenly making sense.
and yes, physical touch top the list obviously. will blog more extensively about this soon, after i find time to read the book.

cheers

it seems some have quite the contrasting personality in real life(RL) and during blogging (BL). in RL, they are approachable and friendly, etc, yet quite the asshole / bitches BL. amazingly, there are also being opposite case of BL, and being real nice RL.
it really baffles me why its occurring.
maybe its just me and i also have such a personality BL and RL?
or they could be masking the hidden angst in RL, then only releasing in BL or what?

well.. dont know.. mugging up..

under the weather

feeling very under weather these few days. at least, spirit got lifted a bit by some very painful pimple squeezing.
unfortunately, could not attend a few activities that i really wanted to these past few days, and feeling quite bad about it. but, my mental health, is in no shape what so ever.

why am i such sensitive about stuffs you do?
im not angry nor pissed.
dont apologize.
i just want some compromising and clarification.
thanks.=)

verbalising

seriously, let me verbalise my emotions thats overflooding me right now.

i know i should be getting ready, should be organising, should be feeling 'enthusiastic' about doing my projects. but much as i thought i was okay, thought that i was feeling good, much as i thought i was going on with life. the truth is, i aint.

i dont give a damn about pride and ego anymore.

i still miss you.

after all these time looking around confused and tired banging against walls, and crying out even. soothing myself, i thought i finally succeeded. until i read.

i really dont know what is going through for you, but i can feel it. i just hope to be there to alleviate. it is not that i dont care, but my fragile heart and minute confidence just cant take no more frost blast from you, cant take anything to complete this decimation.

closest

she is the closest to heaven that i'll ever be..
happy birthday..

implications

oh my, im still reeling from the various possibly implications
but, im truly smiling once again.
no more little voices, YAY!!