wondering...

sometimes i really wonder what my real status is.. what do i have installed for me in this life of mine. somehow i just couldnt get to any conclusion or any answer. however, i cant blame anyone for becoming such a state that im in.

im so arrogant all the time. and this has resulted in everyone disliking me. yet ive tried to change, although it is a good thing to do for many reasons but only one is enough. at the end of day, im being yelled at, taken for granted, taken advantage off. but im too timid to do anything to retaliate. then again, is it because i want to let such things happen to me?

i sometimes just want to voice it out yet im being kept away by angst of others or even one self. knowing the truth is so difficult, you are being pushed away everytime u get closer to it. i just dont know how everything turns out to be this way, which i dont even want it to in the first place.

frankly, i just want everything to be simple and easy, im not kidding. people may think im a sophisticated person but they are totally wrong, im not. i just want things to go simple and easy. however, sometimes the more simple you want things to be, the more complicated it becomes. till a point where you need care and concern to get you through, no one is there. i just dont really know how to explain, like i say, im being kept away. its like a frog in a well, and on top of that, the frog's leg is being tied up and there is no way to untie it.

i dont blame others taking me for granted and everything, maybe its because i believe that is the only way to seek forgiveness from the others whom always have regard me as an arrogant person. this isnt their fault either, what goes around comes around, im willing to take matters as it comes.

i just for now, want to do whats right, and im trying very hard. however, i know i cant be right all the time, im still human afterall. if i do anything wrong to upset you, then tell me what you dont like, im willing to take it to stride and learn from it. maybe because of the lovely someone who has been standing by me for the past 2 years we have met which explains my existence. thanks loves.

on a lighter note, just something in return. i just need that tiny tinge of care and concern..perhaps it would make a difference then..
hahas..



nights all