photographer's sighs

thanks to WHAT THE DUCK for understandings how i feel about photography some times.

anyway, was at Haji this morning, have uploaded the pics which i feel nice. anyway, do give me your comments. its all in face book.

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Knocking

knocking so ever hard on the fortress doors

siege warfare is an grueling

troops are off to conquer other lands

a lone scout keeps watch on the perimeter

he wonders when it is his turn to go home

clear confusions
gain more energy
maintain integrity
uphold discipline
focus
i believe in you more than you believe in yourself

it seems like things have become more and more coherent.
perhaps things should be done the other way round.
but the power of the human mouth is powerful.
twist of everything can be so easily maneuvered.
go think about it, losing faith? u? or me?

Burnt out

you have probably noticed that my blog has been a bit 'weird' for the past few month or so. the truth is that i am totally burnt out right now. it is sad really. i can be such a machine; i could pull late nights after late night and still stumble into school and be productive. right now, im in this funk where all i want to do is sleep. for what's worth, i feel i have accomplished alot, most notably - getting through this semster 'unharmed' and quitting my bad habit of smoking. needless to say, 2008 was quite a journey for me A whole. it always amazes me how much everyone mature over the course of a year.

i plan on using the rest of the holidays to relax and refuel so that i can hit the ground running in April after the holidays. i have lots of new goodies to continue playing with, from FM 09 and NFS to Red Alert 3 and PES.. it is going to be an interesting year. i do plan on creating flash animation for the company's website and maybe picking back up on the portfolio which has been gathering dust since June. ZG and i have been talking about collaborating on some interesting other than the company's website, so who knows what lies ahead.

anyway i just want to apologize for the lack of new content on here and rant about my current state of (unusual) burn out. i wish you all a safe and happy holiday and look forward rejoining you in Apr.

update

yes, yesterday was the first paper for me, hopefully all went well. although some questions were difficult to answer, but with a little crap in it, it seems as if it all make sense. i must say, im rather proud for being able to finish up the paper in such a jiffy.

anyway, the mood for DDI isnt really here, ive not really started on it since yesterday when everyone is. that is the sad part of me. however, just got back from the doc and im rather surprise about my medical result. fyi, its chinese doc and not the western ones.

despite having to change so much of my habits for the past months, i havent really been able to perk myself up. so much aches in me that ive to undergo 3 treatments at once. acupuncture, ba guan and zhou guan. the results were 'wondrous', i have so much toxic in me. that explains why sometimes i just cant sleep and of course the temper is also that hot. feeling very bad now, it seems like everything is just going to explode without any warning.

anyway, still feeling the aches though, will take medicines regularly so that i can clear the toxic asap. although it is impossible to clear all inside, but i think to clear a little is better than nothing eh? kind of pissed off with it because all came at once and no one is really there to take care of matters. that is the sad part though, everything is you are on your own. its different from when people are offering you help and yet you say that there isnt any problem. so cant really compare at times.

well, back to more mugathon, which i really dread it. but no choice, this is life, shit happens. so remember to wipe your bottoms when you're done.=))

you good luck for you exams too...=))

curious case

i know i rarely blog.

however, watching the curious case of benjamin button is screwing myself psychologically up.

disoriented, unsynced and disconnected.

the reversal of roles, so diverse yet so similar. pinned down by the unconditional love of the characters makes me absolutely chilling to the core. it is psychologically disruptive, and the very more counter-intuitive.

to summarise, screwed up big time.

a lot of weird energy has been flowing through me these past 2 days. it really does know how to blow hot and cold, gas bubbling around, funky quirks bumping around. i dont really understand all these heralds, but i do hope of it being better for the future.

protect

certain things im hoping not to happened is kind of happening.
however, im actually rather powerless to stop this from happening.
many bull**** is coming up again, just heard one last night, wasnt really pleasant to hear such things.
not knowing where the source comes from really annoys me much.
it means not being able to clear the roots.

to sidetrack a little

likewise, all i want to see is you being happy.
i dont mind coping myself up or put up a false front.
to see you truly smile again is something that i would do.
however, forget me not, because too much things have gone through my head.
i dont know if you still feel the same but i know i still do.
60 days has passed since then, im still trying to do what i can to make it a point for the better.
i apologize and hope you understand, at the end of the day, its still yo*...
hope im not adding on to your already-heavy-burden or anything else because im trying to speak my mind.=))

coming back to what ive heard, it is really annoying to find out such things has happened to me all this while.
nevertheless, what's said cannot be taken back, i shall not blame anyone or anything for this incident.
however, i will not allow such things to happen again.
by starting from within is the best that i can to stop this from happening again.


you rest well...ok?..=))