unhappy

yes, the title of the post says it all, sheng is on a rampage mood. so better dont cross the line or else you're in for a treat. there is actually nothing much to talk about this feeling right now. to put it in laymen terms, is angry, that is all i can describe.

one thing which adds up to this is because im feeling very much cranky due to the lack of sleep since school has started. i really need tons of sleep to get my engine running which im unable to source it out.

on top of that, new modules are rather difficult to understand so far. although everything is all a click away but it just that damn hard to understand what is being taught. timings of all classes hasnt been really kind to me, or so to speak. to summarise, im still unable to adapt to this new environment so far. sometimes i wonder how come this is the case, it has never been a problem for me to adapt fast. not to brag about it but it is the truth, adapting has never been a problem till now.

another is rather nine to five issue i should say. this part is rather censored, so if readers dont understand then jolly well just exit from my blog.

being inflexible is rather pissing me off, and i mean it. distance has never been a problem for me, however, it is the environment which is causing all this shit. apparently, im unable to do it properly due to the fact that there is no cache for me. no cache for me means no income, then what is the whole idea then? indirectly, it has cause distance to be another demoralizing factor for me already. and no base from anyone has make things even worse for me, unable to do truly what i want and being restricted has caused it to be very mundane. im rather disappointed in it. the whole idea of inflexibility comes in because of the failure in wanting to achieve more and also being complacent. one should not be complacent in anything, if things are going to work out for now, it does not necessarily means it will be forever. i dont wish to see myself being undermine over there throughout. i believe there are better people who are much more capable of doing things over there rather than me.

however, this is all just rantings, who would ever take note of such minor stuffs? if ever a day it does, it means that someone of higher power has answered my call and decided to help me out. other than that, these here are just plain words which will only fall into death ears. then again, i do hope that there is a solution as to what im facing generally. although that is what one is seriously hoping for, but mostly it always turns out the opposite way. isnt it???